Welcome, World Wide Web!
2×26 • Four Grapes
Does it matter if there's mice living in my house?
Dustin and Igor talk about Main Character Syndrome and the Spotlight Effect, mull over music, survive the wildfires, and express their favourite moments of season 2.
Dustin rants about stupidity, streaming culture, and the Spam Jam. He also concludes the "What Would Europe Do?" survey and brags about what landed in his toilet.
Then Dustin and Igor continue the Tournament of Things after revealing the tiebreakers so far: Farfetch'd v. Abra, Gastly v. Mewtwo, Dratini v. Jynx, Bulbasaur v. Pidgey, Jynx v. Pidgey, and Squirtle v. Jynx.
Listeners can follow along by visiting tot.welcome.fm
References: A-metric-a, Video & Arcade Top 10.
2×25 • Tone-Deaf Donkeys
Cinderella is a bacteria... made of fire—as opposed to salmon.
Igor s-egg-ways into a new s-egg-ment about Salmonella. Dustin shares some subatomic and not-so-subatomic stories. Igor forgets about writing a non-award-winning song. Dustin continues the "What Would Europe Do?" survey.
Then they continue the Tournament of Things after revealing the tiebreakers so far: Jynx v. Vulpix.
Listeners can follow along by visiting tot.welcome.fm
References: Hormel does it again, orphan source 1, orphan source 2, Chernobyl Sarcophagus, Tom Scott and the Arsenic Mines, Stable Poliwag, Stable Kangaskhan.
2×24 • Portable Bidet
I think I used a bidet like once in my life, although I always think about it.
Dustin and Igor have a crappy conversation and cube some potatoes. Igor reports a missing plane, reviews Moon Knight, and finds guidance while Dustin quizzes him.
Then they continue the Tournament of Things after revealing the tiebreakers so far: Ditto v. Bellsprout, Snorlax v. Charmander, Chansey v. Slowpoke, Kabuto v. Magikarp, Kangaskhan v. Poliwag, Tangela v. Cubone, and Voltorb v. Diglett.
Listeners can follow along by visiting tot.welcome.fm
References: bum gun.
2×23 • Fair-weather Fans
I think that's a good life lesson for everybody: make your own rules.
Dustin and Igor discuss Igor's whereabouts and go off on tangents.
Igor supplies some Canadian content, encounters a Kentucky Fried Console, and recommends City Hunter (1993). Dustin reviews Dragonball Evolution and considers watching A Good Day to Be Black & Sexy and Love and a Bullet.
Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot.welcome.fm
2×22 • Boxing Ballerina
I really do like my chain patterns.
Dustin and Igor talk about the weather, golf, and Tubi. Then Igor reviews Dragonball Evolution while Dustin continues reviewing One Piece and yearns to become a cruciverbalist.
Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot.welcome.fm
References: eating potato chips.
2×21 • Ash Hat
The little chihuahua saved the colonel.
Dustin and Igor prepare a Sesame Street episode about Ramadan and crossing the street.
Dustin teaches us about KFC's logos and the Taco Bell Hail Mary, and then shares his daring adventures at the supermarket. The two also brainstorm Dustin's upcoming brand of grocery store products.
Dustin wants to be the straight man and also spoils the ending of Ash's Pokemon adventures.
Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot.welcome.fm
References: toy iron filings.
2×20 • Dead Dad Jokes
I hate Ash so much. I'm so glad he's dead.
Dustin and Igor discuss heaven's org structure.
Igor reviews Reggie's book and Dustin compares leadership at the three console makers. They also celebrate celebrities who are outspoken nerds.
Next, Igor teases what he's reading now and Dustin gives his ongoing One Piece update.
Igor also shows off his boxes (1, 2, 3, 4) and potatoes (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11).
Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot.welcome.fm
References: Luke Bryan, Reggie Fils-Aimé, Scythemen, Strong World.
2×19 • Executive Mansion
Being kicked out of a country—it's a really good motivation to go somewhere else.
Dustin and Igor discuss Casablanca, the White House, Gorffwysfa, and the OG whitewashing. Dustin quizzes Igor on wacky walkability, translucent toilets, and whistling kettles. The two also argue about the true meaning of Pancake Day.
Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot.welcome.fm
2×18 • Podcast Tycoon
The Mexican British rock star, Brook.
Dustin and Igor discuss the appeal of a podcast management simulator. Igor tells the story of the Beale ciphers. Dustin quizzes Igor on taxes and tips, and reviews another arc of One Piece.
Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot.welcome.fm
References: swarthy.
2×17 • Schrödinger's Groundhog
I think you shouldn't be touching strange humans either.
Dustin and Igor discuss Groundhog Day: the day, the film, and the truth.
They also talk about That '90s Show and Mythbusters, and Dustin continues his review of One Piece.
Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot.welcome.fm
References: gossamer, and the Edge of Tomorrow.
2×16 • Regular Salad
Farmers markets are great! They're not just for old people—they're really not.
Dustin and Igor interview a salad about eggs, the bird flu, and produce. Dustin reveals his tips for "negotiating" at farmers markets, and then briefly reviews the first 200 episodes of One Piece.
Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot.welcome.fm
References: ostrich egg, lightning, Burger King toys, and the cry of the Victreebel.
2×15 • Robot Whale
When a movie comes out, and it's about a baby, I hate it.
This episode is brought to you by the letters E and R. Follow along here, here, and here.
Dustin recites a limerick, mathematical
That Igor finds all but hysterical.
They play to the beat
of Sesame Street
and other kid's shows, even three-dimensional.
Dustin and Igor continue the Tournament of Things after revealing the tiebreakers so far: Machop v. Poliwag, Eevee v. Porygon, Hitmonlee v. Tangela, Aerodactyl v. Shellder, and Clefairy v. Paras.
Listeners can follow along by visiting tot.welcome.fm
References: Pokenatomy, Voltorb, and Electrode.
2×14 • Palinphobia
We gotta talk like it's happened already. Wasn't that a great New Year's and Christmas? Can you believe what happened on December 27th? Oh my god!
Dustin and Igor celebrate the start of 2023 and their 40th episode with a Simpsons quiz. Try to beat Dustin's whopping 5 out of 40 by following along: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, and 40.
Dustin reveals the end of Ash, and his descent into One Piece.
Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot.welcome.fm
References: The Prisoner and Electrode.
2×13 • Cogent Argument
Did he come out of a woman, or did he just sprout out of the ground?
Dustin and Igor paraphrase the story of Christmas and cotton on to a word that comes all the way from Bologna but is totally not baloney.
Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot.welcome.fm
2×12 • Unreasonable
The octopus wrapped its slimy tentacles around the remote control.
Dustin and Igor critique why people criticize each other, Dustin says something that no one has ever said before, Igor learns to read again, and Dustin talks about QI, The First 48, and Lie to Me.
Then the two continue the Tournament of Things, featuring a cute Kadabra. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot.welcome.fm
2×11 • Words of Ablution
How would you feel if you lived in a world like that: a 2.5D world where you can move between planes?
Dustin and Igor mourn the passing of Kevin Conroy, subtract half a dimension, debate AI resurrecting dead voice actors, discuss The Simpsons' racial controversies, and ponder the lack of new memorable recurring characters in The Simpsons.
Igor defines the first official Word of the Fortnight: Ablution. He also explains why he tracks all his time.
Then the two waste some time, continue the Tournament of Things, and begin to keep an eye on the legendary Goh. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot.welcome.fm
References: Ruth Powers, stereotypical lawyer, blue-haired lawyer, the real Skinner, Hank Scorpio, Bleeding Gums Murphy, Dr. Marvin Monroe, the real Omanyte, and a bird pretending to be Link.
Rule, Britannia
James Thompson (1700-1748), Thomas Augustine Arne (1710–1778), Albert Farrington
Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons
2×10 • One Shred Difference
Why do you have this unnatural ability to just ruin everything?
Igor gives a very, very brief description of Guy Fawkes Day while Dustin shares good news and expresses his approval of the Halloween season.
Dustin and Igor use chili cheese fries to ponder the meaning of "just right".
Then the two continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot.welcome.fm
References: Raspberry Pi, Wheelers, and 60s Electro.
2×9 • Bone Ice Cream
We always have something interesting to talk about, but we rarely actually sound interesting when we talk about it.
Dustin brags about his brand new fall off the bone grill, and Igor advertises Pumpkin Spice Spam.
The two also become rebracketeers in the inaugural segment of Word of the Fortnight.
Dustin and Igor spend the rest of the time reviewing Dragon Ball Super once and for all and remember some funny moments: takos, eggs, and bingo.
2×8 • God Save the Harry
Without her, life would be exactly the same as it is now.
Dustin and Igor celebrate Thanksgiving early because Canada, and then eulogize the Queen.
Then Dustin raves about Stable Diffusion and shares some of his favourite works of AI art: 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5.
The two continue the Tournament of Things with a cameo by longcat.
Listeners can follow along by visiting tot.welcome.fm
(Spoilers!) The following are some of Dustin's own Stable Diffusion creations: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, and 8.
2×7 • Full-Time Falconeer
Even if you strive for getting 100%, you should assume that you won't get 100%; you'll get a certain percentage of that—a smaller percentage.
Our hosts guess whether fast food in North America differs from Europe, Igor tells the tale of a falconeer and her falcon defending the local McDonald's from bird crap, and Dustin promises to release his secret taco recipe on his deathbed while wondering how Taco Bell keeps their quesadilla shells so soft.
The two then ask "What is success?"
Dustin vents work frustrations and proclaims himself to be the Gordon Ramsay of Catholic publishing.
Then Dustin and Igor continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot.welcome.fm
2×6 • Bigger Than Buddha
Controversy creates cash.
Dustin and Igor discover the lost fortnight. Igor subscribes to Disney+ and reveals a few differences in the French dub of The Simpsons while Dustin wonders why it hasn't been cancelled yet.
The duo discusses movies, television, social media, and religion. Dustin also complains about the PlayStation 5 price hike and his squeaky chair.
They continue the Tournament of Things where Dustin invents the ultimate Pokémon move and reveals the missing link between Cubone and Kangaskhan, and Igor learns about the birds and the bees through immaculate conception.
Listeners can follow along by visiting tot.welcome.fm
"record scratch.wav" luffy
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/
2×5 • Idiots
See, this is where we need to have polls... and listeners.
Dustin and Igor justify the upcoming Disney+ price increase and remember the good and bad Prey.
Dustin recommends Only Murders in the Building, imagines Martin Short's final form, and reminisces about teaching at a famous high school.
The two sniff books at Chapters to stay literate and discuss creeping corporate expansion.
Igor flaunts two photos of McDonald's in his neck of the woods, ponders pictureless comic books, and argues the speed of shedding skin while Dustin rants about "ignorance is bliss" and recites a poem.
Then they both internalize the eternal youth of The Simpsons and continue the Tournament of Things.
Listeners can follow along by visiting tot.welcome.fm
2×4 • Dopamine In A Can
To make something go right takes a lot more than to make something go wrong.
Dustin and Igor tease the next Tournament of Things while Dustin unknowingly becomes intrigued by a horror comedy called Cherrypicker.
The two stand to stay fit, play "poison or not", jeer Cherophobia, and continue the current Tournament of Things.
Listeners can follow along by visiting tot.welcome.fm
2×3 • Middle People
Maybe we'll go against the grain and say that correlation is causation.
Dustin regales us with tales of his harrowing experiences and brings us aboard his new Steam Deck.
Then Dustin and Igor continue the Tournament of Things.
Listeners can follow along by visiting tot.welcome.fm
2×2 • Brown Iceberg
We'll call him a Salvador Dali moustached rock snake.
Dustin and Igor begin the first Tournament of Things to decide once-and-for-all the best first generation Pokémon.
Listeners can follow along by visiting tot.welcome.fm
2×1 • Chilly Cheesesteak
I got to see Ben Franklin's private privy, and the hole experience was a little crappy.
Dustin and Igor talk through Igor's trials and tribulations on his trip to Philadelphia. They savour Montreal smoked meat poutine, Buffalo wings, cheesesteaks, francesinha, and chicken and waffles while spotting the difference between Buffalo and its animal brethren.
Igor buffalos Dustin while reviewing Uncharted (2022) and Ben Franklin's toilet (1787). Dustin defends his distaste for Tom Holland and introduces the inaugural Tournament of Things.