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3×26 • Sound of a Smile
I think the best I can hope for is that I can be a cautionary tale to future generations, so that they can lead a better life than I do.
Dustin and Igor remember Futurama and misremember The Simpsons Movie. Dustin also reviews Invincible. The two also discuss Malcolm Gladwell's Blink yet again.
Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot2.welcome.fm
References: opposite George, average asian, Korean Conan, gibberish English, more gibberish English.
3×25 • Aged Grease
Maybe that's like a subconscious fetish I have for things that start with M.
Dustin and Igor get greasy, get smelly, chat chicken, and discuss Malcolm Gladwell's Blink again.
Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot2.welcome.fm
References: Revisionist History, pothole pizza, cheese?
3×24 • Three-Sided Coin
Canadians are getting dumber.
Dustin and Igor recount Count Binface and Count Chocula, blow some whistles, and discuss Malcolm Gladwell's Blink.
Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot2.welcome.fm
3×23 • Monster Kisses
I know it used to symbolize a penis, but what does it symbolize now?
Dustin and Igor discuss television, politics, and movies. They also concoct a non-alcoholic beverage.
Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot2.welcome.fm
References: cylindrical projection, Druk.
3×22 • Heavy-Duty Metal Kite
He does have a swirly D.
Dustin and Igor review The Super Mario Bros. Movie, again; remember how Sonic used to be; and lie about Pinocchio.
Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot2.welcome.fm
References: DKC; Kirby, in the flesh; whale bird.
3×21 • Race Card
Maybe I'm sexist, but I always think of a stereotypical, built, masculine figure.
Dustin and Igor discuss Neon King Genesis of the Hill Evangelion. Igor reviews the X-Men prequels. Dustin rants.
Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot2.welcome.fm
References: Propane Genesis Evangelion, X-Men '97.
3×20 • Patricius
Everybody's going to hell, pretty much.
Dustin and Igor canonize, beatify, and venerate the lesser known St. Patrick, not necessarily in that order.
Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot2.welcome.fm
References: St. Patrick, blue screen vs green screen.
3×19 • Mentally Sufficient
I want to see the first human who's more plastic than human.
Igor taste tests two competing energy drink brands and reveals SunnyD's "sweet" secret. Dustin and Igor deduce that life in plastic is fantastic and download a car.
Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot2.welcome.fm
3×18 • Master Debater
I actually probably should try it. I mean everybody's got pants.
Dustin and Igor hack life, drink healthy, and master debate. #980002
Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot2.welcome.fm
References: pour thing, sidneyraz, Good Arguments, solids of constant width.
3×17 • Big Pony Men
Nobody ever talks about the companies that don't sexually harass their employees.
Dustin and Igor discuss the fall of the video game industry.
Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot2.welcome.fm
References: Insomniac Games, frozen pizza, I can't believe it's not paper.
3×16 • Sugar and Salt
That's the best kind of energy drink: pure human will and determination.
Dustin and Igor discuss energy drinks. Dustin considers making soup in a bathtub. Igor briefly reviews Canada.
Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot2.welcome.fm
References: LifeStraw, Survivorman, Mantracker, AutoZone.
3×15 • Cruise Babies
Do you think I've ever met anybody with less sensibility than me?
Dustin and Igor loosely base this podcast episode on something. They also reflect on themselves, talk about the list, and compare how thorough they are when playing video games.
Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot2.welcome.fm
References: Special K, Starbucks logo.
3×14 • Five Doors Down
Yeah, they're just normal flavours, like mango or peach or… blue.
Dustin recites "a shooting before Christmas," Igor remembers an article about memory, and the two of them try to preorder Doritos-flavoured liquor.
Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot2.welcome.fm
References: the law is powerless to help you, Mind Field episode about memory, GIMP.
3×13 • ME2-6681
Those people who fear long words, I feel like they would not be able to be German.
Igor reviews Joker (2019) and A Movie Making Nerd. Dustin reveals the history of the NORAD Santa tracker.
Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot2.welcome.fm
3×12 • Naamloze Vennootschap
I don't know where all the white people are anymore.
Dustin and Igor discuss the weather and the downfall of society.
Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot2.welcome.fm
References: cyclones 1, cyclones 2, Coriolis Effect, tornado vs. hurricane, Jersey tornado, Mr. Beast vs. activists, zinc, springs, base pharmaceutical Pokemon, evolved pharmaceutical Pokemon.
3×11 • The Company
I thought that mint condition actually had something to do with the flavour of mint.
Dustin and Igor discuss ChatGPT's new feature, transportation, and collectibles. Dustin reviews this year's The Super Mario Bros. Movie.
Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot2.welcome.fm
References: box Pokemon, potato Pokemon, pharmaceutical Pokemon, not Colgate-Palmolive, Zelda CD-I, more Zelda CD-I, petrichor, all the world's cereal.
3×10 • Iron Bed
Brother's uncle's mother's baby's daughter.
Dustin and Igor discuss bed-making and Halloween. Dustin reviews Cocaine Bear.
Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot2.welcome.fm
References: tired as drunk, Weekend at Bernie's, Guy Fawkes Day, make your bed, weight loss.
3×9 • Sausage Fingers
I got myriad problems, but a word ain't one.
Dustin and Igor have an existential crisis and discuss Microsoft's acquisition of Activision.
Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot2.welcome.fm
3×8 • Garbage Flower
Jeremy bought me a dozen queefs for Valentine's Day.
Dustin and Igor discuss AI, running, David Goggins, and Birds Aren't Real.
Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot2.welcome.fm
References: running study 1, running study 2, running article.
3×7 • Boat Docking
Abase yourself before you ablute yourself.
Dustin and Igor discuss life, current events, LEGO, aliens, and tapeworms.
Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot2.welcome.fm
References: LEGO figure 1, LEGO figure 2.
3×6 • Less Worse
I'm naked in the bathtub.
Dustin and Igor discuss intimacy, frustration, and mice.
Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot2.welcome.fm
3×5 • Suction Cups
I'm in a better place now.
Igor talks about his new apartment and a trip to IKEA. Dustin shares a photo of his clock. They also discuss the trials and tribulations of living (in an apartment), and Spam's humanitarian efforts.
Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot2.welcome.fm
References: Dustin's clock, Spam's T-shirt.
3×4 • Canadian Maple Story
I'm just going to start the rumor that's how it was, and maybe that'll be history one day.
Igor describes his latest journey from Ottawa to Porto. Dustin smells what the Rock is cooking and complains about a global lack of standards.
Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot2.welcome.fm
References: Miracle Workers, Weird, American Horror Story, Mr. Green.
3×3 • Armchair Physicist
The one trick that the Pope doesn't want you to know about.
Dustin and Igor summarize street suffixes; discuss dictionaries; bring up Barbenheimer, Nicolas Cage, and streaming; and confirm climate change.
Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot2.welcome.fm
References: Kingston's by-law, South Stormont's by-law, street types, Giant's Causeway.
3×2 • Bison Tube
I'm definitely going to regress to my usual self.
Dustin and Igor go balls to the wall in their first in-person podcast episode.
They also begin the second Tournament of Things to decide once-and-for-all the best S&P 500 company logo.
Listeners can follow along by visiting tot2.welcome.fm
References: Stendhal syndrome.
3×1 • Misfit Pillows
It's just an expression. Nobody actually showers in the mornings.
Dustin and Igor finish the first (and reveal the next) Tournament of Things and raise concerns about the cleanliness of chickens and chocobos. They also discuss shipping, cage matches, Reddit, and Canadian content.
References: AI vote, Styrofoam-tastic, Spam Pizza.